Thought: sickness

I’ve been sick for a little over two years now. I don’t know what I have, doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. Every test I’ve taken has come back negative. 
Doctors in this country suck anyway but I was still hoping they could help me. I lose hope every time I get sick, which is very often. 

It’s gotten to a point where I can’t eat anything. I’ve developed food allergies and intolerances to almost everything, which is weird because two years ago I could eat pretty much anything and everything. It’s like I woke up one day and my body started rejecting food that I normally eat all the time. I cant eat anything. It’s gotten to a point where I don’t even want to eat anything anymore.

I’m frustrated and fed up of this. I’ve Googled my symptoms but have tested negative for the disorders that have come up or have been suggested by doctors, like celiac disease or inflammatory bowel disorder and so on.

I’m fed up of the pain that comes along with every food intolerance/allergy attack. I’m fed up of waking up in the middle of the night in pain only to realize food hasn’t digested in my stomach for 5 hours straight, that I have to throw up to relieve myself. I’m fed up of anything I eat turning into acid and being flushed out of my system at both or either end of my body. It’s embarrassing and I can’t function like this. I can’t function not knowing when this is going to happen again. How am I supposed to function as a student or when I get a job?

The only solution I’ve found is that I don’t get sick when I don’t eat.

#blog #writing #journey #happiness #death #book #sick #help #devastated


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